Judging by his Web site, I figured Steve Burns, former host of TV's "Blues Clues," would enjoy some of my crazy questions. I mean, if Bubba Sparxxx can calm his ego to play along, why not Steve Burns? He's a lovable dog-lover-turned-indie-musician who seemed to have an incredible sense of humor.

Sorry, Nick – you be wrong. When the going gets tough, the tough turns Nick into a smart [hee haw]. So, in celebration of the 40th edition of Say What?!?! I might have engaged a little too much steam. I am now wondering if maybe Nickelodeon would have been better off making Blue a cat.

Meow!

SO, STEVE, TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR CURRENT TOUR.

I purposely did this tour in the middle of the summer so that I could try to do some different stuff. It is going really well, and it is certainly a lot of fun. I am doing a whole lot of multimedia experiments and so far, they are all going pretty well.

OK, NOW, FOR SOME OF THE REAL FUNNY QUESTIONS.

Um, OK.

DO YOU MISS BLUE?

No.

NOT AT ALL?

No. (Laughs) I don't feel like there has ever been an opportunity to miss her.

SO, IF BLUE WERE A WHITE RAPPER, WHAT WOULD HER NAME BE?

Oh, this whole thing is going to be about this isn't it?

NO, NO THERE ARE OTHER QUESTIONS, TOO.

Fine. If she was a white rapper, her name would be Lil' Bow Wow. (Laughs)

(LAUGHS) HAVE YOU BEEN ASKED THAT BEFORE?

No.

THAT WAS VERY CREATIVE. I GIVE YOU PROPS FOR THAT ONE.

(Laughs) Thank you.

SO, IF BLUE WERE A PERSON, WOULD SHE BE HOT?

No, you sicko, if Blue were a person she would be 4.

OH, MAN THAT SUCKS. WELL, WHAT IF SHE WERE LIKE IN HER 20S?

Yeah, of course she would be hot because she would be incredibly smart and highly empowered and confident.

SHE WOULD DEFINITELY HAVE A CLUE.

Um, yeah.

SO, ARE YOU A FAN OF HOT DOGS?

Nope.

HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A DOG BISCUIT?

This is all going to be about dogs, right?

NO NOT THE WHOLE THING.

Have I ever eaten a what? A dog biscuit? No.

WHAT ABOUT A DOG?

No. Are there any other questions, or are they all about dogs?

HANG TIGHT, THERE ARE MORE QUESTIONS.

WOULD YOU EAT A DOG IF I GAVE YOU AN APPLE?

What?

WOULD YOU TAKE A BITE OF COOKED BLUE IF I GAVE YOU AN APPLE TO GO WITH IT?

No.

WHAT WOULD YOU EAT IT FOR?

I WOULDN'T!

(LAUGHS) I'M JUST MESSING AROUND. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

OK.

SO, WHAT WAS THE REAL REASON YOU LEFT 'BLUES CLUES?'

It was real simple. I had done 100 episodes and my contract was up. And I just decided not to re-sign. I just thought that was more than enough. It was either stop then or do it for the rest of my life. You know what I mean?

YEAH?

WHERE'S THE GREEN SHIRT NOW?

In a closet somewhere at Nickelodeon.

DO YOU STILL OWN ANY GREEN STRIPED SHIRTS?

I actually don't. We are going to have to wrap this up pretty soon. So, go, go, go. Let's go man.

DO YOU THINK MORE PEOPLE GO TO YOUR SHOWS BECAUSE YOU ARE STEVE?

No, not at all. I don't look anything like that and certainly what I am doing right now has so little bearing on that. I am very proud of that though. There's an interesting tension between the two ideas, but certainly the last couple of shows, people were surprised to learn that's who I was.

DO YOU FEEL THAT MAYBE IN LIKE 15 YEARS YOUR CD WILL BE MORE POPULAR SIMPLY BECAUSE YOUR YOUNG FANS WILL BE AT THE AGE WHERE THEY ARE BUYING INDIE MUSIC?

No.

DOESN'T THAT MAKE SENSE THOUGH?

There is no devious plot to sell these CDs.

SO, BEING FRIENDS WITH BLUE WON'T HELP YOU SELL THESE LATER?

That's it. I got to go. I got to go.