Tom Gleisner: Our first guest this evening, if you don't have kids you maybe not recognise his face. but here is a little taste of his work.

[plays Blue's Clues clip]

Tom Gleisner: The most watched preschool show in all of the United States, Steve Burns, please welcome Steve.

Glenn Robbins: it seems that uh the show is meant to be appeal to 2 to 5 year olds but you go beyond that

Steve Burns: yeah, uh the appeal is broader than that, and you saw the clip I'm as surprised as anyone [laughs]

Tom Gleisner: it's on the tv at the gym I go to in the morning, before I knew the show, and they don't have the sound up. I used to be on the treadmill and I just see  ... [does the Blue's Clues face] and I had no idea what it was, but now I know what it is,

Steve Burns: you were just forced to work out, looking at some strange stripy knome going [does the Blue's Clues face]

Tom Gleisner: where's it done out of?

Steve Burns: uh we film it in New York City, but we can film it here, it just a, we can film it anyone, it's just a blue screen.

Santo Cilauro: [playing dumb] is that a fake background?

Steve Burns: entirely [realizes that Santo was joking and he starts smiling and waving his finger]

Rob Sitch: who picked you? How did you get the job?

Steve Burns: actually the kids picked me, it was fascinating, I was just acting in New York and you know, doing normal acting New York things and it was just one audition I had that day and I had a lot of ideas, what not, and they actually showed my tape to some kids and kids were like him [points finger]

Tom Gleisner: so what do you think it was that the kids got into?

Steve Burns: well , I was the one in the audition, I was pushing the talk through the lens, talk to the camera thing, the direct address thing, and it really is the Rocky Horror Children Show in a lot of ways.

Tony Martin: well that technique we discovered, seriously, was invented by Liberace apparently .....

Steve Burns: was he, really?

Tony Martin: ..... he was the first person to speak to the camera like it was a person.  Rather, you know sort of creepy sort of person, clearly.  But that's actually a technique that he invented.  He was the first person to do that and people would ... this documentary on the ABC [Australian TV channel] said people at home thought that he could really see them and they'd dress up or something and have a date with Liberace

Steve Burns: oh that's terrifying to think that I'm an heir to Liberace's throne [laughs]

Rob Sitch: do you think that you'd actually, you know everyone on kids tv shows "talks-like-this" if you'd actually talk like we're talking now, do children understand you just as well?

Steve Burns: you've expressed it so well, and that's really the point of view that I work from. You can talk to kids "like-this" and "how-are-you-today" and they will respond to that and they know where to put it. But you can also talk to kids at their level of understanding sincerely as people and you will maintain their attention and you'll be able to develop it. And that's kinda like a respect for kids and that's really where we're coming from.

Glenn Robbins: the guy who was big years ago, I'm not sure whether the Australian audience knows about him, was it Mr Roberts? The guy with the "Hello welcome to my .... "

Steve Burns: Mr Rogers?

Glenn Robbins: "Welcome-to-my-Neighborhood"

Steve Burns: Yeah

Glenn Robbins: "I'm-putting-on-my-cardigan"

Steve Burns: He was a little disturbing

Glenn Robbins: he's a weirdo!

Steve Burns: Yeah, definitely

Glenn Robbins: I'm putting on my slippers now

Steve Burns: he was actually a genius, but I found him disturbing as a child and more so as an adult

Tony Martin: "I'm working on my manifesto today ....."

Steve Burns:  [nods his head and laughs]

Tony Martin: ....."in my shed, in Montana."

Glenn Robbins: Do you get together with ummm, have you met, cause we have some pretty big kids tv hosts, well, performers, Wiggles, Bananas in Pajamas, are you going to get together and chuck it round?

Steve Burns: arrrhhh I would love to, I would love to

Tom Gleisner: but, time

Steve Burns: Yeah

Tom Gleisner: have you seen play school?

Steve Burns: yeah I have

Tom Gleisner: we'll just play a little reminder, everyone have a little magic from play school

clips from Play School
Play School Host says "we're making babies".  Scene cuts to the play dough in her hand and it is shaped like a penis (lol).  Then she says that she has to give it a face and she uses a pen to push holes into the play dough (the part that looks like a head of a penis) to make eyes and a mouth

They cut back to Steve and he has his hands over his mouth, his eyes are popping out of his head and he is slowly looking around at the hosts of The Panel as though he is saying "What the hell was that?" The audience is totally cracking up laughing over Steve's reaction.

Glenn Robbins: I can guarantee you in a few months he's going to steal that, he's going to take it back

Steve Burns: I, I can't believe you people! [laughs]

Tom Gleisner: it's early morning

Tony Martin: You've got children Tom, is that how it works?

Tom Gleisner: pretty much, that's how you make babies

Santo Cilauro: Steve I've got a 2 and a half year old, kids are a tough audience aren't they?

Steve Burns: ahhh, they're the toughest audience

Santo Cilauro: cause they've got no idea. The other day I was just talking to him and I'm trying to entertain him and he goes "daddy are you finished now?" ... and they really... do you do live shows?

Steve Burns: ah. no. Not very often. But just the other day I was at a children's hospital and I'm reading poems, it's a very happy endeavour and I'm reading poems to this kid and I'm like "did you like that poem?" and he's like [puts on a sad voice] "yeah" and I said "would you like me to read another one?" and he said "well if you make it funny"

[Hosts and audience crack up laughing]

Rob Sitch: so when you go to hospitals, do you kinda get introduced to kids that don't know who you are?

Steve Burns: ah, it hasn't happened yet.

Rob Sitch: oh really?

Steve Burns: oh no, it actually did.  It happened when I was in Canada once. But you know, I have a pretty severe wardrobe disorder on the show so when I arrive looking the way I do, they know something's up

Tom Gleisner:  There's a host in the ward

Steve Burns: Yeah [laughs]

Tom Gleisner: Can we ask you, I don't want to dwell on the dark side to your past Steve, but there was a rumour going around last year, that you died of a heroin overdose?

Steve Burns: no that's true, I did

[Hosts and audience laugh]

Tom Gleisner: cleared that up, excellent

Glenn Robbins: Was there a song? [starts singing "heroin, heroin"]

Steve Burns: I sang a little song about it and then promptly OD'd

Tom Gleisner: seriously, this was going around on the net, that you were dead?

Steve Burns: yeah I died of many causes. You know, I understand children's shows host make really good targets for this sort of thing, there is even more so in the states, a real instinct to corrupt that which is perhaps annoyingly pure. I understand that..

Tony Martin: it didn't shock us, because all our kids show hosts out here, are on the gear

[Hosts and audience laugh]

Tony Martin: soon as they go to the ads they're out the back shooting up and looking through the round window

[Hosts and audience laugh]

Glenn Robbins: do you get attention from the um ... cause the mothers would see you a lot wouldn't they? The mothers of the kids and ahhh ...

Steve Burns: single moms are into the show man [laughs]

Glenn Robbins: so how you doing?

Steve Burns: It's not bad.  I was actually voted one of People magazines Most Eligible Bachelors, which was great cause I was sure that Blue's Clues would end my dating career entirely

[Hosts laugh]

Glenn Robbins: so when you got out into a bar what do you say?

Steve Burns: I say .... "hi, do you ever watch children's television?" [laughs]

[Hosts and audience laugh]

Steve Burns: "Your kids love me"

Tom Gleisner: Blue's Clues of course, 9.30am on channel nine and on Nickelodeon, Monday to Friday 10am and 12:30pm. We see a lot of you here and thank you for sharing yourself with us tonight, would you please thank Mr Steve Burns.